


Sail on silver girl, sail on by

by MurderRose



Series: Corona Drabbles [26]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Diagnosis, Infertility, M/M, numb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23657764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderRose/pseuds/MurderRose
Summary: Everything was exactly the same as it had been before he’d visited the doctor, except nothing, absolutely nothing was the same.when tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Wen Jun Hui | Jun & Yoon Jeonghan
Series: Corona Drabbles [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674001
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Sail on silver girl, sail on by

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from Bridge over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel.
> 
> I made _myself_ cry with this one.
> 
> Characters not mine, they're real people, this is fiction.  
> Enjoy!

The clock ticked. The birds chirped. Lucy brushed up against him in greeting. Everything was exactly the same as it had been before he’d visited the doctor, except nothing, absolutely nothing was the same. Nothing would ever be the same.

Jeonghan mechanically made tea, sitting down on the couch and staring at the wall. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The clock ticked on.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tick.

  
  
  
  
  


Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

  
He had to, he had to ring Joshua. And Seungcheol. He had to ring them. He looked at his phone on the table, and closed his eyes, tipping his head back to rest on the cushions. 

When Jeonghan finished his tea, he leaned to put it on the coffee table and his fingers brushed the phone. He should ring them. There were three missed calls and some texts. He pulled his fingers away and leaned back into the couch, pulling the blanket over himself. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Jeonghan-hyung?”

“Hyung?” Someone was calling him.

“Jeonghan?”

“Jeonghannie?” 

Jeonghan’s eyes fluttered open, “Jun-ah?” he yawned, “Is everything alright? How did you get in?” He pushed himself upright on the couch, waking up a little more.

“Joshua-hyung told me where the spare key was. Hyungs are worried, you haven’t answered any of their messages and they were worried about what happened at the hospital. They just asked me to pop in and check” Jun was hovering over Jeonghan worriedly.

“Oh,” Jeonghan’s eyes shuttered and Jun sat down beside him, “What time is it? Their flight?”

“It’s only 5pm. They don’t take off for a half hour if you want to ring them now?” Jun had his phone out but Jeonghan shook his head.

“No, I’ll talk to them when they land, tell them I’m ok?” Jeonghan asked, avoiding his own phone completely. Jun nodded, and quickly sent a text.

“Ok hyung. Is everything ok?” Jun peered at his hyung, he looked pale and small and scared.

Jeonghan shook his head, reaching out and beckoning Jun closer for a hug. Jun went easily, pulling at Jeonghan until he was hugging him, the two of them curled close on the couch. Normally when they were like this, it was Jeonghan comforting Jun. This time Jeonghan was tucked into Jun. He hugged him close.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jeonghan breathed in as if to speak, and then burst into tears, pushing his face into Jun’s shoulder. Jun held him close, he didn’t often see Jeonghan cry. He carded his hand through Jeonghan’s hair, trying to replicate how he soothed him, and just held him.

  
  
  


“Is there anything I can do?” Jun asked once Jeonghan’s sobs had petered out a bit.

“Nobody can do anything Junnie, I’m infertile, the tests just came back.” the words were quiet and Jun drew in a shocked breath. He didn’t know what to say to that. He rocked Jeonghan from side to side a little, resting his cheek on his head.

“I’m, I’m never going to have a baby of my own,” Jeonghan sobbed and Jun had to swallow back his own tears, his heart was breaking. Everyone knew Jeonghan wanted kids. Had wanted kids for as long as Jun had known him. He mothered everything that came into his sight. He loved children so much he’d become a nursery teacher, having his own children had been his next goal. At least two.

“I’m so sorry hyung,” Jun whispered eventually, his tears dripping into Jeonghan’s hair and Jeonghan just shook against him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The key turned quietly in the door and Jun woke up. Jeonghan was wrapped around him like an octopus, they’d fallen asleep on the couch after Jeonghan had begrudgingly eaten something small. Jun turned his head to see Joshua and Seungcheol quietly bringing in their luggage. They’d been away at a conference for Joshua’s work. 

“Hi Junnie,” Joshua whispered, slipping off his shoes and padding over to the couch while Seungcheol brought their bags upstairs, “everything okay?”

Jun shook his head slowly, he didn’t want to say anything, Joshua’s face dropped and he nodded a little. 

“Ok, don’t worry. It’s late, why don’t you stay in our guest room? We can drop you home in the morning, I didn’t see your car out front?” Joshua asked, sitting by their feet and resting a hand on Jeonghan’s leg softly.

“Thanks, didi dropped me off,” Jun nodded in answer and Joshua smiled. The two of them looked at Jeonghan who was starting to stir.

“Hey baby,” Joshua whispered when Jeonghan opened his eyes, and Jeonghan tumbled into his arms, tears starting nearly as soon as he woke up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I can’t I can’t” he cried and Joshua hummed sympathetically and held him close, whispering into his ear.

Seungcheol was back downstairs now, and Jun took the opportunity to slide off the couch.  
“Jun, you’re staying? There should be something that fits you in the dresser, you know where everything is right? Toothbrushes in the cupboard, use whatever you need,” Seungcheol said, ever the host, and Jun hugged him briefly in thanks before slipping up the stairs, out of their way.

Seungcheol sat down beside the other two on the couch, dropping a kiss to Jeonghan’s hair and murmuring, “bad news then love?”

Jeonghan cried harder and Joshua looked at him, tears forming in his own eyes, “he can’t, Cheol, he can’t.” Seungcheol smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around the two of them. Before long, they were all crying, clinging to each other and crying.

  
  


They would still have children, but Jeonghan’s dream had been to have his own blood kids. There were tonnes of different options, and they’d investigate them all, but right now, Jeonghan was mourning, and they were mourning with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Can be read as abo/mpreg/trans character or not up to the reader, I'm not quite sure what I wrote it as to be honest, all of these possibilities floated through my head.
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you thought in the comments below!
> 
> Rose x
> 
> [Come talk to me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseEnDiamant)


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